dark night of the soul

You may have heard the term, Dark Night of the Soul, either because you are currently moving through it yourself or maybe you know someone close to you that is currently in this phase of life. It is a term that people use to describe a period of life where everything that once was, is no longer. Like the entire world that you constructed for yourself is crumbling right before your eyes. The views and notions we once held to be true don’t make sense anymore and the things that used to hold so much meaning don’t bring any joy whatsoever. It is a time in a person’s life that feels chaotic and confusing. This event is often an extremely challenging and painful time in life, that is usually brought on by some traumatic occurrence or disruption that shakes a person to the core of their being. It is usually abrupt and unexpected. It could be the death of a loved one, losing a job, an illness, betrayal, injustice, a breakup and so on. Whatever the event, this is the trigger, the onset, the initiation onto a path filled with purpose, depth and faith. It is also common to experience multiple triggers during this period and it’s important to remember that each trigger reveals a hidden strength within that wants to be expressed through you. These events usually cause tremendous grief and loss. This is the purpose, to shake you to the core of your being and bring you to the depths of your despair. It’s normal to feel isolated and alone during this time, like nobody understands you. This is the point. The Dark Night of the Soul requires that we go inward to find wisdom within ourselves. To bring into our awareness the shadow aspects within ourselves and to face them with courageous devotion. Often times, these shadows feel like anger, abandonment, control, fear, and so on. Due to the unexpected nature of the Dark Night of the Soul, most people will not have the tools, awareness or understanding of what is happening internally. They might lash out at loved ones, make sudden changes in their life or completely change directions. Most of the time, the person going through this transformation did not ask for any of this and this carries a lot of confusion.

The challenge of the Dark Night of the Soul is to allow this process of transformation to unfold. To persevere through the confusion, through the isolation, through the depths of our despair. To keep walking even when others walk away from us. To keep putting one foot in front of the other even when it feels like nothing is working. To continue to take small courageous steps and to surrender to all that is coming up. It’s common for people to emotionally numb and try to avoid their feelings all together. It’s not easy to feel constantly surrounded by dark dense clouds. Imagine you are alone in a thick fog that is surrounding you, it’s so dense that you cannot see 6 inches ahead and the density is making it difficult for you to breathe. You know you have an oxygen mask, but you can’t see anything, so you are blindly searching and have no idea where to go. You feel isolated, you feel alone, and you feel abandoned, there is nobody there to support you. Many people might describe this feeling as depression and as painful as it sounds, it’s a common part of the process. We are being asked to sit in this darkness, to feel every ounce of it consume our being and to let it all rise to the surface. Only when we confront this darkness can we begin to understand what is true.

Even when we do start to see the truth, it can feel very confronting. We might begin to notice all the ways in which we abandoned ourselves and be filled with immense guilt and shame. It is important to remember that all of this is happening to bring you into wholeness and that requires putting the pieces together where they fit. We cannot complete a puzzle if we force pieces to fit in places they don’t belong, we won’t ever see the true picture and it will always remain incomplete. For some, returning to truth can feel like a lot of loss. We are now releasing things in our life that were never aligned to our true path and as we begin to let go, we are inviting balance, harmony and alignment into our life. It can feel like a constant internal battle of the old and the new. An internal conflict of who have been and who you are becoming.

Curiosity can become very strong during this time and many people will become interested in ancient spiritual teachings, diving deep into gaining knowledge and wisdom from the past. It’s very common to go on retreats, start reading different spiritual texts, to seek external guidance, to take courses, etc. This is a time of deep exploration and self-development. It’s a period of processing all that has been happening internally and to begin to integrate and make sense of it. Often, people will jump from one thing to the next and become passionate about one thing and then another. It can feel exciting one moment and confusing the next. Our minds are like a sponge during this time, and we are anxious to find all the answers. These moments are asking us to have faith, trust, and surrender to our own truth. To allow the process to unfold and to be okay in the uncertainty of all the unknowns. Our roots are settling during this time, creating a grounded base for us to blossom and bloom into something larger and more beautiful than we ever could have imagined. Think of a lotus flower, it roots itself in the mud and the stem grows upward from the mud to the top of the water, where each pedal begins to bloom one by one, slowly revealing its radiant beauty. The lesson here is to remember our roots are grounded in darkness and from this darkness we learn to radiate light. It is a time of nourishing our roots.

The dense clouds that once covered our existence are beginning to part and we are being shown glimpses of light. We are stepping into our own authenticity and rebuilding what had fallen apart. The path is still unclear but now there is a deep trust and faith within. You have endured the darkness and now have tools and an understanding of what is required to continue. With time, there is a lightness that starts to become part of your presence and eventually you see how all the pieces fit together and become whole. You understand that this initiation was preparing you for the next stage in your evolution and feel immense gratitude for all the hardships endured along the way. Now you know through your own experience how strong you really are. You see all that you are made of and with time that light starts to shine from the inside out. Many people will start to feel a deeper sense of purpose and a calling to help others in some way.

This Dark Night of the Soul is a calling for you to realize the power you have within. It doesn’t happen for everyone but some of us are required to walk this path depending on the karma we are here to learn and grow through. It’s important to remember that each path is different, there are no manuals to follow, and there is no way to know how long each phase will last. This is a test of your faith and courage. This time is meant to reveal all the strength and power that is within you. We must be willing to withstand the storm and trust that the sun will shine its light again to reveal the rainbow that can only be seen when darkness and light come together as one.